King Obama sits on his throne in his sinister lair with his computer right by his side, amidst the mountainous terrain in Poland. Obama has capitulated to Russia and squelched the Missile Defense System that was promised to Poland. The only reason Obama would veer off in this drastic direction is that he has gone looney. Obama traded Russia gold, and the U.S. received mere peanuts in return. The snake(Obama) has made a back door deal with Putin and supposedly promises to create a better Defense Missile shield while stringing Poland along at the same time.
All of a sudden, Obama sees a bright orange light. Clear as day, Its a missile. The orange light gets much brighter, bigger, and even bigger. With his computer Obama fgures out the missile will hit Poland in about 6 hours. He says, AaaaHH!! Its coming at me!! OMG, meanwhile there's NO missile defense shield to protect him or the surrounding area. Well, gosh dangit, Maybe Bush was right afterall? The Missile Shield would have been a great idea!! Maybe, I could save Poland from a horrible disaster with my messianic powers? But, he thinks... I can't betray my fellow fascist, thuglike dictators- Putin, Ahmadinejad(will refer to him as Imad), and Chavez. They are my bros. What the heck has Poland done for me lately? Nothing. Poland has only sent soldiers into Iraq and Afghanistan and supported the Patriotic USA loving Bush. I can't be a part of any of that. I'll just leave Poland to deal with that drat missile.
King Obama fleets off in his commando type plane in warp speed to a far off hideaway place located in Iran, to meet his good budddies Imad, Putin, and Chavez. King Obama's good buddies lead him inside a cave, what is supposed to be a safe place for an extended stay for all of them. Obama says Gee, this kinda looks like the layout of Club Gitmo. A rock falls on his head, and as the iron bars come down, Imad says, The terrorists liked it so much we thought we'd replicate it specfically for YOU. King Obama says, What the hell? People call me the One. Some even call me the messiah. The door closes and through the little window, Obama's so called good buddies tell him, We knew that you were weak. We used you so that we could rule the World. We're much better manipulaters and liars then you are. Plus, that God complex irks us to no end. Imad, Chavez and Putin say, Your way too much of a Christian for us. Obama said, Oh! No! That Christian jargon was just an act and a complete cover up during the election, to get me elected. A says, Oh Well Shit happens. There are only enough riches in the World for us three amigos to sponge off of.
Within an hour Biden receives word from the secret service that Obama has disappeared from Poland. Then, a message comes through from Chavez, Putin, and Imad saying, we have your cowardly pussy of a President. We are holding him until you relinquish all rights to the fortune of America. Biden says, UH! We don't have fortune in America. Haven't you heard that there's a global recession that started with the U.S.? Putin, Chavez and Imad say, Is he really a man? He didn't put up a fight at all. Biden says, Of course, Last I checked, he was a man. Biden says, We
need the One, We'll get call you back. Meanwhile all of the national security were in the process of trying to think of a plan to rescue King Obama. Biden says, How about Bush, Cheney, and Chuck Norris? Wicked Witch Pelosi says Hell No! They approve of the use of that enhanced interrogation technique crap. Biden, says, It might be torture, but it works. The Wicked witch Pelosi states, I won't be a part of this unethical business of rescuing the President. The wicked witch goes flying on her broom back to San Francisco.
Biden calls the cowboy trio and they are willing to use their tactics to rescue King Obama. A few CIA agents accompany Bush, Cheney, and Norris to Iran to rescue Obama. Chuck Norris uses his expertise in Karate to capture the Iranian guards. The CIA start the process of gaining intelligence information using a new and particularly vicious enhanced interrogation technique adapted from the works of the late Douglas Adams.
In record time, they find out the exact location of where King Obama is being held. The CIA agents, Bush, Cheney, and Norris are outside of the cave where Obama is being held. They all used lethal force against the guards. They finally figure out the combination to get inside the cave. They have found King Obama. King Obama asked, How did you find me? We used CIA agents to gather intelligence using EIT's. Obambi asks, How ethical is that? Then they think to themselves, with comments like that, should we leave him to fend for himself? Then the CIA, Cheney, Bush, Norris drag Obambi outside.
An hour later King Obama finally remembers to tell Biden that there there is a huge orange missile heading straight for Poland. What should we do? Bush said, Why not tell Biden to dispatch some F-22 stealth fighters to intercept the missile,and shoot it down? Obambi states, that sounds like a good idea.
Another hour later, Biden does just that. First, the military intercepts the missile and shoots it down. Then the military headed to Iran and they bomb, bomb Iran. They kill all three of the rogue brutal dictators Putin, Chavez , and Imad. And, King Obama is now safe and sound on his throne in Washington D.C. Thanks to the skilled CIA agents using EIT's, Chuck Norris's karate skills, and Bush and Cheney.
